This is the first year that Matisse is old enough to grasp the magic of Christmas, so I really let it come to life. In fact, I have been reading her “The Night Before Christmas” at least once a week for the entire year. Yet despite my enthusiasm and brainwashing, we went to meet Santa at the local shopping centre for a visit and upon my request to say G’day to the man, Matisse stuck her lips out, as far from her face as they could possibly protrude and said ‘nooooooooooooooooooo,’ shaking her head with a passion to boot. I didn’t want to traumatise her so we just moved right along.
The following week, the Karama library was having Santa AND his reindeer come to the weekly story time. I was letting my imagination run away with itself at the thought of how the reindeer would manifest, but not in my wildest dreams did I envisage that Santa’s reindeer would be so freaking muscly.
At first I got on my high horse, thinking that Santa was working his reindeer too hard, and was contemplating calling the local reindeer union. Then I remembered that we do live on the dodgy side of town, so Santa probably had to enlist some security guards to pose as reindeer so that his sack full of chocolate wouldn't get raided en-route to the kids. The crims in Karama would steal candy from a baby. I had told the librarian I would take some photos of the morning for them, so I accidentally veered off the fine line of being creepy and going my job whilst taking all these photos.
At the risk of sounding like a pervy housewife, I may or may not have texted some of these photos of the ‘muscly reindeer’ to a couple of friends. One was quick to identify the guy as the ‘Parkinator.’ If I had been less preoccupied with having two kids in as many years, I may have noticed this guy parading around Darwin handing out parking tickets for the local Council. But no, I wouldn't have deliberately parked illegally just to come head to head with him. He has earned himself the nickname ‘the Parkinator’ for obvious reasons - and backed it up by winning an Arnold Swarznegger bodybuilding competition. Read the story here! http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2015-03-17/atif-anwar-wins-schwarzenegger-bodybuilding-competition/6326006
decided to text my husband the same pictures of the muscly reindeer so that I didn’t feel like I was dabbling in visual adultery. Initially he leaped to the conclusion that I was hanging out with a bunch of firemen and was thinking WTF?! Then he realised it was “just the parkinator” and didn’t even bother to write back. Admittedly, the responses I got from my other friends were much more colourful.
My husband was comfortable with the fact that the Parkinator had attended the local story time with all his muscles and was singing and dancing for our children. BUT. He was decidedly not okay with receiving a parking ticket from him the VERY NEXT DAY. The fine is still stuck to his windscreen wiper almost a month later, a memento if you like.
nyway, Matisse was a little warmer toward the library Santa and his muscly reindeer. She stood this close, and looked this happy. He gave her a chocolate Freddo frog. I have never let Matisse eat chocolate in her life, but I was so determined to make her love Santa that I even let her eat it.
When pressed to tell me what she wants for Christmas, Matisse comes up with sympathy evoking responses like "dinner" and "rocks." And when I ask about Elspeth, she tells me "a beard like Johnny" - her grandfather. I had noticed her preoccupation with beards too!
Disclaimer. I promise I am not a female chauvenist. If I try and convince you I will no doubt dig a bigger hole so let's just leave it there for now.